


From Suga to Koushi

by whisperingink



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Teacher/Student, well coach/student
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-27
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-02-22 21:15:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2522036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whisperingink/pseuds/whisperingink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Suga gets under Ukai's skin in the worst way possible</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Ukai kept thinking about Sugawara, about the things he said that night, selfless things that Ukai had never been pure-hearted enough to think. Telling Ukai to pick Kageyama if that was what he thought was best for the team. Sugawara clearly valued the team above all else, above himself, to be okay enough to tell Ukai to potentially ruin his last year of high school by making him known as the one who was upstaged by a first year. Sitting on the sides was painful, Ukai could remember that well enough. The feeling of watching the rest of the team compete and win without you cut deep. And Sugawara had willingly subjected himself to that possibility. He was still flabbergasted by the vice captain, even as he went to bed that night.

The next day, Sugawara had such an easy smile during practice that Ukai almost forgot the events the night before. His pale face lit up with a broad grin every time Hinata scored with Kageyama, or Asahi spiked the ball, and he always gave Sawamura the happiest smiles every time their captain did something particularly cool. Ukai grinned a little himself. Every team needed a cheerleader, even if they didn’t play American football. Sugawara energized everyone around him, made them feel like what they were doing wasn’t hopeless in the face of overwhelming competition like aobajousai and the like. Hinata threw himself at Sugawara, hugging him enthusiastically after making a particularly sharp shot. Sugawara ruffled his hair affectionately, almost motherly, as he congratulated his kouhai.

 _Why am I focusing on him so much_? Ukai thought to himself, looking away from his team before calling that practice was over, time to pack up and head home. But, before he could stop himself, he called out Kageyama and Sugawara’s names, beckoning them over. Kageyama looked concerned, his dark brows furrowing together, but Sugawara looked understanding. Sawamura gave Ukai a rather dark look, which reminded him of how upset the captain had been when Ukai told him that his second in command would be sitting on the sides for now. But, Sawamura was a captain. He understood.

“What is it, Coach?” Kageyama asked, panic fluttering over his face. Ukai grinned at the two of them, before his face grew solemn upon seeing Sugawara’s resigned expression. He clapped a hand on both their shoulders.

“You two are some of the most talented setters I’ve ever seen. If there was a way I could put you both in a game as starters, I’d do it,” he grimaced, squeezing Sugawara’s shoulder a little hard, “But I can’t. Kageyama, you’ll be starting for our next match. Sugawara, you’re on the side.” Kageyama looked absolutely shocked, staring at Sugawara, then Ukai.

“But...I’m a first year,” he said, voice much meeker than what Ukai was used to hearing, “Sugawara-senpai, you’re a third year. This is your last year.” Sugawara said nothing, but just smiled at Kageyama, giving him a thumbs up.

Ukai hated doing this so much. He hated putting Sugawara through the same things he’d been through in high school, the third year sitting on the sidelines. It was humiliating, but Sugawara bore it all with a smile.

  
“It’s okay, Kageyama. It’s my last year, yes, and I want to see us make it to the top before I graduate! So I’m counting on you, my talented kouhai!” There it was, the easy way Sugawara handled his teammates, with a sort of gentleness Ukai had never been able to master. Kageyama nodded, bowing quickly before thanking Ukai and running off, undoubtedly to tell Hinata in one way or another. Sugawara turned to Ukai, his face a little crestfallen.

“Thank you for making the smart decision, coach. Part of me was hoping you’d pick me...but I know Karasuno will perform best with Kageyama as our setter. He’s a genius.” The “and I’m not” was left hanging in the air. Ukai surveyed Sugawara. At first glance, he looked average, with not too much muscle, average height, grey hair, brown eyes. But the minute Ukai tried to imagine the team without Sugawara, everything just felt wrong.

“Hey, Sugawara,” Ukai said, “Don’t think this means you aren’t vital to the team. I mean, I’ve seen how you act with them. They’d be...totally, completely lost without you. You’re important. So, I know the thought’s going to cross your mind,” he said, reaching behind his head while meeting Sugawara’s eyes, “But don’t quit. Don’t quit this club.” Sugawara looked a little taken aback by Ukai’s outburst, but quickly smiled at him, patting Ukai on the arm.

“Don’t worry, coach. I have no intention of leaving this club, and, besides, I think Daichi would kill me if I even tried it. But...thank you, for that. It means a lot.” With a light flush on his cheeks, Sugawara bowed quickly and headed for the locker room, stopping halfway to turn around and say, “Oh, and coach, just call me Suga. Only the teachers call me Sugawara.”

That left Ukai with a funny feeling in his chest that he quickly shoved down.

 

* * *

 

He spent the next few days of coaching just observing Sugawara– _Suga_ –and feeling weirder for it. He didn’t understand this at all. He didn’t understand how this kid could’ve gotten under his skin, make him want to be a better coach, since Suga was a better player than he ever had been. Even after the news, which he knew must’ve been devastating, Suga kept playing well, or even better, and his attitude didn’t change at all. On the contrary, he seemed even warmer to his teammates, especially Kageyama, helping him calm down and get his head in the game. He gave out high fives like candy and even made Tsukishima crack a few smiles.

When the match came around Saturday afternoon, and Karasuno won, the team pulled Sugawara into their team hug. Sawamura even lifted him into the air, naming him their best cheerleader, and Ukai felt a twinge of something in his chest when he saw Sugawara practically glowing.  Later after he’d talked to the opposing coach, saying things he could barely recall, he headed for the changing room, where he was sure the rest of the team had left. But, on the off chance that any were still there, he wanted to congratulate them again on a game well played.

He did not expect to walk in on Sawamura and Suga necking like–well, horny teenagers–with Sawamura kissing his way down Suga’s neck and palming him through his sweatpants. Suga leaned back against the lockers, biting down on his lip and letting a little moan escape. Ukai clapped a hand over his mouth out of shock more than anything else, his face flushing hotter than he thought possible. Suga’s eyelashes fluttered down against that damn pretty beauty mark as Sawamura whispered something to him which had the boy nodding and dropping to his knees.

Oh fuck. Ukai stumbled a little, swearing quietly, and he saw Suga taking Sawamura’s cock into his mouth with a quiet moan, that pink tongue licking the head. Sawamura fisted his hands in Suga's hair, spurring him on to take his cock deeper, his moans growing louder as the captain began to fuck his mouth. Ukai couldn't breathe when he saw Suga's hard cock pressing against the front of his shorts. Then, Suga reached down his pants to grasp his cock, moaning again. Ukai's breath hitched and he froze, worried that the boys would notice his presence. Sawamura seemed too absorbed in getting his cock sucked. But Suga...Suga looked out of the corner of his eye, met Ukai's gaze, and smirked around Sawamura's cock as moaned again.

_Shit._

He’d seen him, looking at two of his students having sex. Without another word, Ukai rushed out of the locker room, heading to the broom closet the school called an office and slamming the door behind him. He stared down at his crotch and swore.

_Fuck._

He was hard; growing harder by the second as he remembered the flush on Suga’s cheeks and the way his mouth closed around Sawamura’s cock, moaning like he was some kind of porn star. And the way Suga had looked at him, as if he liked that he was being watched while sucking a cock...then there was the way his cock had pressed against the front of his shorts as he touched himself. It made Ukai wonder if Suga was the kind to get wet and slick fast, like a faucet turning on. _Don't think about this, don't think about this–shit._ Ukai's own pants didn’t escape his notice ; he could see how the front had grown damp. It made him curse, closing his eyes and thinking about Suga doing that to him instead, hating himself for it. Those pretty lips stretched around his cock, sweet voice saying “Keishin” as Ukai kissed the life out of him. He felt disgusted with himself as he muttered, “fuck it,” and stuck his hand down his pants, wrapping his fingers around his hard cock and pumping, imagining his hand was Suga’s.

He was sick. This was so sick, Suga was a kid, 17 was still technically a kid. But Ukai couldn’t help but imagine talented hands stroking him while whispering naughty things in his ear, he could die happy. Between those light brown eyes and beauty mark, Suga had a hell of a gaze, especially with that silvery hair hanging in his face. He wanted to do what Sawamura did, press Suga up against the wall and cover that pretty pale neck in bruises before asking that beautiful boy to get on his knees. He imagined how that face would look up at him with his lips wrapped around his dick, sucking and licking while fondling Ukai’s balls, Suga stroking his own cock too. Coming in Suga’s mouth, like he was sure Sawamura would do, watching him lick it all up before feverishly kissing Ukai…

He came harder than he could remember in a long time, sticky liquid coating his palm as a bitter taste of disgust filled his mouth as he realized he’d just jacked off to the thought of getting a blowjob from a seventeen-year-old student. Ukai wiped up the mess with a tissue, threw it in the garbage, and headed home with his stomach full of bile.

* * *

For the next few days, practice continued as normal, but Ukai forced himself to not look at Suga...Sugawara. He kept his focus on Hinata and Kageyama, nitpicking the details of their combo attacks until they had it perfectly. Then he turned his attention to Yamaguchi, getting him to practice the jump float serve over and over. He could hear the rest of the team commenting that Ukai seemed to be in a particularly bad mood, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop being the harsh coach. He had to keep his mind off of Suga.

When practice ended though, to his horror, after everyone had left the gym, Sugawara still remained. His cheeks were pink as he shuffled over to Ukai, sky blue scarf pulled up around his face while he stared at the ground.

“Suga, you should be getting home now,” Ukai said, starting off towards his office where he would probably yell into his hands or punch the wall, but Sugawara lightly touched his arm with a quiet ‘um’ that somehow managed to set Ukai’s skin ablaze.

“I just wanted to apologize for the other afternoon,” he said quietly, “I-It was…so mortifying...I know you probably aren’t happy that your captain and your vice captain are…well…you know,” he stammered, turning redder, as though he hadn't been the one to look at Ukai and moan around a dick, “B-But it’s nothing serious! We just fool around sometimes; he’s not really gay he was just curious, that’s what he told me, please don’t dislike us for it, Coach, we need your on our side-”

...Suga thought Ukai was upset because he was gay. He figured Ukai didn’t like gay men and Lord, he didn’t know if it was possible for the boy to be more wrong.

“Sugawara,” Ukai said, clasping a hand on his shoulder in what he hoped was a reassuring fashion, “It’s okay that you’re gay. You can like whoever you want, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

Suga opened his mouth to say something, but he visibly trembled so much that Ukai wasn’t surprised at all when he started to wipe at tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. Guilt coursed through him; he must've imagined Suga looking at him that way when he'd been caught. Ukai was just a filthy pervert, and Suga was a scared teenager. Which left him even more surprised when Suga rushed towards him for a hug, flinging his arms around Ukai’s waist and pressing close against him. Yeah, that he hadn’t planned on.

Thankfully, the shorter boy let go before he could notice Ukai’s traitorous dick. The sheer amount of thankfulness on Suga’s face made Ukai feel all kinds of guilty. He wondered if his parents had ever let him know that it was fine to be gay. Heart sinking, he wondered if in fact his parents had let him know that they thought gay people were disgusting, the same way Ukai’s parents had mentioned. A sort of righteous fury rushed through Ukai’s veins at the mere thought of anyone daring to tell Suga that he was anything less than perfect.

“Coach,” Suga sniffled, wiping the wetness off of his cheeks, “Thanks. S-sorry for getting all gross and emotional, but it means...it means a lot to me, what you said. Nobody in this town really thinks the way you do.” Ukai patted Suga on the shoulder again, trying to keep his distance. The setter didn’t seem to mind the awkwardness though, as he merely told Ukai he needed to head home before thanking him again.

He left Ukai in a cloud of confusion that smelled like his own desperation mixed with Sugawara’s almond body wash.

  
_This is not good._


	2. Chapter 2

Suga was good at pretending like he and Ukai hadn’t shared some kind of moment. Ukai, on the other hand, was not. He couldn’t help but notice the fine planes of Suga’s face (had he always been that pretty?) or pick up on his other small habits that came out most prominently when he was playing volleyball. Suga’s lower lip was more often than not swollen and shiny from biting in concentration as he focused on the ball. It killed Ukai that he couldn’t in good conscience make him the starting setter. Kageyama worked hard too, just as hard as Suga, and he was better at setting, especially with Hinata.

But that didn’t depress the silver haired boy, it seemed. He kept his eyes on the ball and his mind on the court, which is where Ukai’s should’ve been. Instead, he was wondering how the other boys on the team perceived Suga, if they also wanted him in the way Ukai did. He reasoned that if he could see that someone else, someone appropriate in age, wanted Suga, he could turn off these feelings like a light switch. 

Sawamura high fived Suga often, tackled him in ‘bro-hugs’ but Ukai never saw an inkling of lust in his brown eyes, strange for someone who’d just had his cock in Suga’s mouth a little over a week ago. It made Ukai angry almost, to think that Sawamura could treat sex with someone like Suga so casually, even if it was clear that he cared for his friend. He could feel himself twitch at the memory of Suga moaning around his friend’s dick and cursed a little louder than he intended to. 

“Sorry!” Suga called, his eyes downcast as he scooped the ball up again, “Sorry coach, I won’t fumble the next one.” Ukai hadn’t even realized Suga messed up his serve; he wanted to say ‘No, Suga, wasn’t you, it was me and my massive boner for a teenager that could get me sent to jail.’ But instead he shouted “Don’t mind, Suga” and received one of those winning smiles that made his heart thump like he was some stupid teenager. Ukai was 26. ‘There is no way a boy like Suga would think twice about you.’ 

After practice, he walked back to the shop and called his mother to ask about one of the many nice girls she was constantly trying to set him up with, out of some desperate hope for a distraction. Five minutes later, he had a date for Friday night. When he went to bed, he hoped he’d be dreaming about a pretty young woman his age with a cute smile who he’d hit it off with immediately and take back to his apartment. The kind of girl that would make him forget about his issues.

In his little apartment bathroom as he got ready for bed, he stared at himself in the mirror. He’d been out with women before on dates. Men...men, he’d slept with when he went to the city. Hit up a bar and take a cute ass back to the hotel room. Part of his brain wondered what it’d be like to take a handsome boy out on a date, pull out the chair, pour him some wine and make conversation over dinner. This imaginary man somehow morphed into Suga, which made Ukai wince and glare at himself in the mirror. 

“Get it together,” he growled, “Don’t be gross.” His brain wouldn’t obey. He imagined Suga fisting his hands in the front of Ukai’s shirt and dragging him down into his bed with flushed cheeks and a wicked smile. Imaginary Suga told him dirty things, begged him for cock, asked Ukai if he could ride him until he came. Ukai felt depraved thinking these things...a date would solve it. A date and a good fuck with a beautiful woman who could become his beautiful girlfriend and allow him to pretend he was perfectly normal.   

* * *

His mother set him up with a woman named Amakata, who said she was a literature teacher and also an advisor for her school’s swim club. She looked cute, with wavy brown hair and big eyes, not to mention her fair skin and nice body. Ukai should’ve been thrilled to have landed a date with a woman like her. He’d even dressed up pretty night, wearing a sport jacket with a tie and pretty okay pants. Well, he’d never claimed to be fashionable. 

She’d texted him a photo of herself, and he immediately recognized her waiting in front of the nice restaurant he’d decided to splurge for. Amakata waved at him, a smile lighting up her beautiful face. She wore a sweet sundress that complimented her curves, but Ukai could only think of orange and black uniforms paired with silvery hair and a perfectly placed beauty mark. Stop, he told himself as he mustered a half hearted grin.

“It’s nice to meet you!” she said with the littlest of bows. He offered her an arm absentmindedly as they walked into the restaurant, “So, tell me what it’s like to be a volleyball coach.” He looked a little taken aback, not expecting a woman to be interested in stuff like that. She seemed to be able to read his mind as she grinned and explained, “I’m the advisor for my school’s swim club. We have a volleyball club, but I don’t know anything about it.” Ukai’s grin turned a little more realistic. 

“I’ve got a great team, they seem to do most of the work to be honest,” he said sheepishly, going on to explain the positions of the team, telling her funny anecdotes of Kageyama, Hinata, and Tanaka, deliberately leaving out any mention of Suga. He couldn’t afford to think about any of that. She told him about her quirky team, laughing when she told him about how one of the swimmers seemed almost attracted to water. Ukai began to relax. Maybe this wouldn’t be a disaster.

Their dinner did go fine, they made pleasant small talk and he seemed to make her laugh enough. By all accounts, this dinner should’ve been going fantastic, well enough for Ukai to get a second date. Stupid things kept making him think about Suga though, and it was killing him. The slender fingers of their waiter, the guy with a similar haircut he saw walking to the restroom. Suga was everywhere, a presence in his brain. Ukai contemplated drowning himself in the restaurant’s sink.

“Ukai-san?” 

He snapped to attention, realizing Amakata was looking at him with a sort of pitying expression on her face. She tilted her head to the side, studying him with pursed lips. He cringed, feeling ashamed at being such a poor date. Next time, he would be sure to not space out like that– 

“You’re hung up on someone else, aren’t you?” He’d chosen the wrong time to take a sip of his wine, choking on the red liquid. 

“A-Amakata-san?” he gagged, wiping at his mouth, “I’m so sorry about zoning out like that, it’s been a long week. Where were we again? Something about your college years?” She offered him a gentle smile and refilled his wine, causing him to blush at his transparency.

“I was hoping that my luck with coaches would get better,” she sighed, taking a bite of her food, “I know what mooning over someone else looks like. I work with often lovesick teenaged boys, remember?” Ukai’s mother had always told him he should never play poker, and he was sure Amakata would agree because of the look of absolute guilt he was sure had overtaken his face. “You seem like a sweet man,” she sighed, swirling the wine around in her glass, “Whoever your special someone is, they’re very lucky in my opinion.” 

If only she knew that he was so ashamed of crushing over a man almost 9 years his junior. Amakata grasped his hand in reassurance, smiling brightly at him while offering him a bite of her dessert, as if he was someone deserving of her kindness. 

“Sorry about all of this, Amakata-san,” he mumbled, sinking down on his elbows, “I didn’t mean to lead you on like this. Let me take care of dinner, okay? It’s the least I can do. Besides, you’re really good company.” Amakata smiled and set a little piece of her chocolate cake on Ukai’s plate. 

“I’d like that, Ukai-san!” 

* * *

He said goodbye to Amakata after a pleasant dinner, but knew they wouldn’t be going out like that any time soon. Still feeling a little guilty over how he acted earlier, he wondered what there was left to do to keep himself entertained for the evening. His mind wandered back to what he used to do in high school, like he was one of Amakata’s pupils or something. Friday nights he usually spent smoking with friends or helping his mom at the store. He didn’t have any cigarettes on him, and he didn’t much feel like going back to an empty apartment. 

With a shrug, he headed to the store, figuring that if he wasn’t able to find anything to distract his rather twitchy mind, he could at least get ahead on his inventory work for the weekend. In retrospect, he probably should’ve just gone home. But he had no clue that Sugawara Koushi would be sitting outside, familiar scarf wrapped around his neck as he sipped at a drink. Ukai almost wrecked his car in a rush to park, practically tumbling out of his seat to make his way over to Suga, who looked up in surprise. 

“Suga...it’s almost ten-thirty. What on earth are you doing here?” Suga put up his hands in defense, giving Ukai a little half smile. He stood up from the bench outside the store and walked over to Ukai, tossing his drink into the trash can with a clunking noise. 

“I was wondering if I’d be able to catch you closing the store tonight. But someone else was there, and they said there was always the chance you’d stop by to check on the shop after it closed. So I’ve been waiting, but not very long, so don’t feel bad!” he hurried to insist. Ukai looked down at Suga, thinking that this had to be a cruel joke played on him by God. Alone with Suga, he didn’t trust himself; not that he’d ever do anything terrible to Suga, he’d die before doing that. 

“Okay, Suga,” he said, mind still a little cloudy, “What’s so important that you wanted to talk about it on a Friday night instead of going out with your friends?” Suga looked down at his feet, his body drooping a little. 

“I just...oh man, I’m feeling kind of stupid now, I should’ve just waited for Monday. But Ukai-san,” he started, almost trailing off with a wistful look in his pretty brown eyes that Ukai tried to not notice, “I know I said I wasn’t going to quit the team. But I don’t really know what to do, Coach. I don’t feel like I’m contributing anything, so I might as well quit if I don’t shape up. Should I be more like your assistant, help the others with drills more, or maybe even–” 

“Suga!” Ukai said, a little too forcefully, unable to stop himself from grabbing Suga’s arm and startling him into locking eyes. The silver haired boy looked so small, a little scared, and lost. Like a kitten. “Don’t doubt yourself. And for the love of God, do not quit this team. It would fall apart without you. And besides, you’re already practically my assistant, helping with drills and stretches at the end. Not to mention all the moral support. I–uh, I mean the team, don’t know what we’d do without you.” He went silent afterwards, not sure if it was normal for a coach to get so feel-y about one of his players. It probably wasn’t. Yeah, it definitely wasn’t

“Oh...coach,” Suga said, almost breathless, eyes widened at the shock of Ukai’s emotional outpour, “Thank you for this. Um, I really do feel silly now, taking time out of your evening. Seems like you were headed somewhere anyways,” he mumbled, gesturing to his nice outfit. Ukai blushed, just a little bit, when he realized he was still in his nice getup. Must’ve looked really weird to someone who’d only ever seen him in sports clothing. 

“Oh, nah,” he muttered, reaching to grab the back of his neck in embarrassment, “I went on a date. Didn’t go too well though, we didn’t click like you’re supposed to.” Then, to Ukai’s surprise, Suga pressed his hands against the front of Ukai’s chest, fiddling with his tie as he grinned. 

“Well, you look fantastic, Ukai-san!”

This was killing him. Suga looked too good, even standing in the harsh lights of a closed convenience store. Ukai wanted him in the worst kind of way. Suga’s skin was so smooth, his lips looked soft, and Ukai was unable to stop himself from slipping an arm around Suga’s slim waist, pulling him a little closer. The night was cool, but he felt warm, like a space heater almost. 

“Coach?” Suga asked, freezing in his embrace and looking up at Ukai, who could barely look back. He didn’t say anything; he was too mortified by his own lack of self control around this underaged boy (barely underaged, almost legal, the disgusting part of his mind said), and just as he was about to pull away from Suga and run for it, back to his car, back to safety, the shorter boy stood on his tiptoes and pressed a little kiss against Ukai’s cheek while tugging on his tie. He felt like someone had set him on fire, just from that innocent touch.

“Suga,” Ukai said, his voice low and harsh as Suga touched him, sliding his hands down Ukai’s abs to feel every muscle, fucking touching him like he wasn’t underaged and Ukai wasn’t 9 years older and his fucking coach, “You don’t know what you’re doing.”  Suga looked up at him, his expression a little defiant as he shook his head. Ukai then realized that he hadn’t imagined Suga looking at him with bedroom eyes in the locker room that one time.

“I know exactly what I’m doing.”

And those were the last words Suga said before he craned his neck and kissed Ukai in the middle of the parking lot, where anyone could’ve seen, and any worry that Ukai might’ve had about a scandal in the school, in their small town, vanished as he cupped Suga’s face and angled him to better the kiss. 

He parted his lips, allowing Ukai to slide his tongue into his mouth. When he nibbled Suga’s lower lip, Suga fucking whimpered. Warmth flooded his body, making every nerve buzz as Suga tangled his fingers in his hair, the headband falling off as Suga kept tousling his hair. Suga tasted sweet, appropriately so he thought with a wry smile, and his lips were so soft, as was the skin of his face.There were thoughts of “no, bad, wrong, so wrong, he’s 17, you’re 26, you’re his coach, practically a teacher, stop, stop,” but he didn’t want to stop, not when Suga felt so good pressed up against him, getting hard fast as ground against the front of Ukai’s pants. He knew he was capable of kissing the life out of this pretty boy, and he intended on doing that. 

“God, I’m going to a special kind of hell,” he groaned before sliding his hands from Suga’s face to his waist, deepening the kiss with a rough moan as he squeezed his fingers. He whimpered Ukai’s name, draping his arms around his neck and nipping his lower lip.

“I want this, I want this,” he murmured, rubbing himself against Ukai’s leg, “Want you, Ukai-san...I don’t want you to go on any dates. Want you for myself,” 

Ukai felt his heart lurch in his chest, pushing Suga away with shock written on his face. No. He could go to jail for this, hell, he was about ready to march himself to the police for thinking about taking this further. 

“Why did you stop?” Suga asked, trying to get closer to Ukai again, “I told you I wanted this, Ukai-san. I’ve wanted you for so long now, and I thought you wanted this too!” he exclaimed, his cheeks flushed bright pink as he rushed to press up against Ukai again, “I saw how you looked at me when I was blowing Daichi.” He said it so casually it drove Ukai crazy. But then again, he’d have to be pretty damn crazy to do what he was doing. 

“You’re seventeen,” Ukai said, shaking his head as he tried to push Suga away half heartedly, “You’re a child, you can’t possibly want to be with an old man, you’ve got Sawamura, hell, you could have any guy or girl in the school, so don’t waste your time here kid. I don’t want to go to jail just because you have a pretty mouth.” Suga flinched at the words, but kept his resolve. 

“What do you know about what I want?” Suga retorted, eyes blazing as he grabbed Ukai’s hands, “I don’t want them! I want YOU! You want me too Ukai-san, I can tell...we would never get caught,” Suga insisted, “I wouldn’t say a word. Besides, I’m eighteen in just a few months! We don’t even have to do anything...I just want to kiss you. Let me kiss you, please?” 

He looked so doe eyed, so sweet and kind, even though Ukai had just found out that his student was actually somewhat of a deviant. You can still walk away from this, he reminded himself as Suga ran his thumb over Ukai’s clenched knuckles, You can push him away, say you don’t want this. You can lie to him. He was a terrible coach, he knew it, he was breaking every ethical rule that coaches were supposed to follow. Like, don’t make out with your students. Don’t think about bending your student over a bed. Don’t think about how your student’s mouth would feel around your cock. 

The air blew cool around them, Suga’s scarf fluttered as his hair swept to the side. He didn’t know what he wanted anymore. Suga was too good for him; he deserved a boyfriend who he could be seen with in public, one that his friends wouldn’t call the police on. Ukai couldn’t remember the last time he felt so selfish about something. He’d prided himself on being a good guy, working at his parent’s shop while coaching this rag tag group of kids. Falling for a teenaged boy didn’t make him much of a good guy anymore. There was no way for him to ignore Suga pulling at his tie, urging Ukai to close the space between their lips again.

“The problem is,” he started, shoulders slumping as he could feel himself giving in, “I don’t just want to kiss you, Suga. I’m not a good guy.” Suga smiled again, as if he knew he’d won this round. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Ukai-san. I only fall for good guys,” Suga whispered, not giving Ukai time to respond before he got on his tip toes and kissed him again. Ukai felt himself melt against Suga’s touch again, as though he was the blushing schoolboy in this scenario. He felt himself be pushed against the side of his car by Suga, who grew more insistent by the second with their kiss, tangling fingers in his hair once again as he slid his tongue against Ukai’s. 

He was smiling into their kiss, of all things, smiling and giggling as Ukai gave into what he wanted to do and lifted Suga up, allowing him to wrap his legs around his waist as Ukai squeezed his ass. When was the last time he’d necked like this, like some horny shit of a teenager? Suga was a terrible influence on him. They stayed like that, kissing for what seemed like ages. There seemed to be some appeal to messing up his nice clothes, as Suga wrinkled the front of his shirt and embarrassingly made him strain hard against the front of his pants. 

“Ukai…” Suga whined, grinding their crotches together more, “Please touch me. I’ve wanted this for so long...”

_Fuck._

How was he supposed to say no to Suga, with his kiss-wrecked voice, puppy eyes, and insistent cock? A shiver went down his spine before he realized they were still in public. Even he wasn’t about to go further than kissing where people could see. Blindly, he groped for the latch to the trunk of his car, opening the door and dragging Suga inside. God, they really were like teenagers, about to get each other off in the back of Ukai’s car. He could’ve driven them back to his house, but something was stopping him. This still wasn’t real. If he brought Suga into his bed...then it would be real. 

He wasn’t sure how fake this was though, with Suga stretched out with shiny, kiss-swollen lips, beckoning for Ukai to join him. This time, he didn’t hesitate as he pulled Suga into his lap. He was a good, solid weight, and he was addicted to kissing it seemed as he kept his lips fixed to Ukai’s neck as Ukai unzipped his pants. 

“Touch me,” he repeated, arms slung around Ukai’s neck as he slid his cock out. He couldn’t help but flush hotly at the sight of Suga’s cock, hot and slick in his hand. This wasn’t how he imagined their first sexy encounter going, but Suga didn’t seem to mind as he thrust into Ukai’s calloused hand. “Ah, ahh!” Suga moaned, precum dripping all over Ukai’s fingers as he jerked him off, “Nngh, please, Ukai-san, you’re so good...” Ukai couldn’t handle listening to Suga’s words and kissed him again, speeding his hand as Suga rocked against him. His body was so tight; he could tell even with his clothes. Guilt swept over him again when he thought about taking Suga into his bedroom someday.   

“Fuck, Suga,” Ukai growled as he felt Suga growing tense all over, “Come on babe, come for me. Wanna see your face while you do.” 

His face didn’t disappoint as he spilled his cum all over Ukai’s hand, his eyes closed and mouth parted into a perfect o as he threw his head back and moaned Ukai’s name. Ukai couldn’t stop himself from mouthing at Suga’s perfect neck, knowing he’d be leaving marks there for the morning. As Suga came down from his orgasm he kissed Ukai lazily, running his tongue over his bottom lip.

“Do you want me to…” he gestured to Ukai’s cock, also begging for release, but Ukai shook his head. It was bad enough that he’d touched Suga so much so soon after their confession. He wasn’t sure he could take Suga returning the favor already. So he kissed him instead, wiping Suga’s cum on his own pants (eh, they were due for a wash anyways). 

“Please,” Suga whimpered as Ukai kissed down his neck again, “Don’t let this be a one time thing…I’m eighteen in three months, I’m not a kid. I know I want this.” Ukai froze mid-kiss, pulling away to look at Suga’s soft brown eyes before kissing his forehead. 

“Hey now, don’t get sad. You’re the one who tempted me into this mess, you little minx,” he grinned, kissing Suga’s jawline again while starting to finally push down his feelings of guilt, “You’re not getting rid of me so easily.” He wished he had a camera for the look of pure elation on Suga’s face before he kissed Ukai again. 

God, he didn’t know what he was getting into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, Ukai did go on a date with Ama-chan-sensei from Free bc I'm fangirl trash  
> and no, this is not the last chapter, there's plenty more to come~


	3. Chapter 3

Ukai woke up the next morning still wearing his clothes from the night before, the last night hazy as he lay facedown in his pillow. He remembered going on the date with Amakata, but leaving the restaurant alone...only to go to the store and…and...his insides went cold when he remembered the feeling of Suga’s lips brushing against his cheek, so innocent, so sweet.

Well except Suga wasn’t innocent, as he’d asked Ukai over and over to touch him and oh god he had, he’d given Suga a handjob in the back of his car and wow those sure were cumstains on his pants. What the hell had he been thinking? The memory of Suga’s face as he came burned on the inside of his eyelids as he groaned into the pillow, unable to believe how badly he fucked up.

* * *

 

He dragged himself to the school Monday afternoon, stomach flip flopping from the anxiety of seeing Suga, sure that someone would have found out by now, maybe the authorities would be there, ready to cart him off for touching a teenager. The memory of what he and Suga had done stayed with him all weekend, popping up behind his eyelids every time he shut his eyes, let his brain wander. But, when he arrived at the Karasuno gym, everything was business as usual. The team had started warming up, Suga leading stretches. They didn’t even share a glance as he walked inside; some of the kids said hi, Takeda offered him some water as they sat on the sidelines. Suga looked cheerful as usual, brow shining with sweat as the team ran drills today. He tamed Kageyama and Hinata, shared a grin with Sawamura, but only said ‘hi’ to him once.

Ukai wondered if maybe he’d imagined Friday night until Suga came up to him after practice.

“I can be quiet, you know,” Suga said, in a soft voice. The rest of the team had left without him noticing; Ukai wondered how Sawamura hadn’t been confused as to why Suga was so insistent on staying behind, “Nobody has to know but the two of us. I’d like it better that way too. But I could feel you looking at me today,” he said and Ukai cringed. How the hell was a high schooler better at being subtle than him? “Let’s be each other’s secret, Ukai-san.” Ukai had looked around the gym for any stragglers before he squeezed Suga’s hips and kissed him quickly, relishing the feel of those soft lips against his own.

“Fuck it. 3 months isn’t long.”

But it did kill him a little that they couldn’t so much as hold eye contact for more than a few seconds in public, and Ukai made it very clear to Suga that he couldn’t just randomly ditch his friends to spend time with him, neither of them could, it’d cause too much suspicion. Sometimes he found himself a little worried about Sawamura’s closeness to Suga, but he assuaged that fear pretty fast.

“You know, Daichi and Michimiya-san are going out now,” Suga casually said one day after practice. Ukai froze, not looking at Suga until a few seconds later, where he saw the expectant expression in his pretty eyes.

“Tch, I don’t really pay attention to high school gossip,” he responded, not missing the little smirk on Suga’s face as he tossed another ball into the bin while cleaning up, or how he carefully brushed his hand over Ukai’s while going over plays for the next game.  

And that’s how their life went. They would see each other at school, and it was hard to not be overly attentive to Suga, not squeeze his hand or press him against a wall after practice. At school, he was Coach Ukai, and Suga understood that perfectly well. Their anticipation would build up over the course of five days until Suga would knock on his door Friday, around nine at night or so, kissing Ukai the minute he stepped into the apartment. Any stress Ukai had from his jobs melted away the minute Suga wrapped his arms around his neck and jokingly said “pardon the intrusion” as they stumbled into Ukai’s living room and onto his couch.

Suga was in casual clothes, still nicer than what Ukai wore at his age, with a button down and well-worn slacks as he straddled Ukai on the couch. “Missed you,” he murmured, leaning down to kiss Ukai again, gentler this time. Ukai couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity, saying I missed you as if they hadn’t just seen each other a few hours ago, but he knew what Suga really meant by that. They hadn’t seen been with each other outside of volleyball practice since their tryst in the parking lot. With a sigh, he wrapped his arms around Suga’s waist and kissed him deep. He liked listening to the little noises Suga made as Ukai kissed him deeper, his warm body squirming in Ukai’s lap. It was a teenaged thing to get worked up so fast he supposed, but that didn’t stop him from finding Suga’s noises of desperation hot as hell.

There was a certain curve to Suga’s hip where his shirt rode up that Ukai loved to rest his hands against he quickly found, rubbing little circles against the soft skin there as Suga started to slide Ukai’s jacket off his arms. They broke their kiss as Ukai moved to mouth at Suga’s neck, noticing that the marks from last time hadn’t faded yet. Heh, no wonder he’d been wearing his blue scarf so much lately. He practiced a little more restraint, only leaving one beneath Suga’s collar before kissing his soft, sweet skin.

Surprising him, Suga pulled away from their embrace to unbutton his shirt slowly, meeting Ukai’s gaze as he let the shirt fall to the ground in a messy pile. Shit, Suga wasn’t ripped by any means, but he was all lean muscle earned from years of volleyball and extra drills that Ukai was certain he did.

“You’re too much,” Ukai said with a grin, pulling Suga close again for another kiss, unable to keep himself from groping those toned back muscles. Not content to just kiss, Suga tugged at the hem of Ukai’s shirt before sliding his hands up over his abs hungrily. Ukai made quick work of his shirt, throwing it on the back of the couch as Suga went right back to kissing him. He sucked Ukai’s tongue into his mouth, moaning softly as Ukai ground his hips upwards. Suga let out a soft mewling noise, rubbing his clothed erection against Ukai’s.

“Three months until June 13th,” Suga whispered when Ukai hesitated, “Don’t make me wait until my birthday for me to see all of you.” When he went to pull at Ukai’s zipper, he grabbed onto Suga’s hand to stop him with a shake of his head.

“I’m not going to...to fuck you, Suga,” he muttered, his face hot at the mental image, one that featured in a number of his fantasies, “Not until your birthday.” Suga looked almost offended as he dropped to his knees.

“What made you think I wanted to fuck so fast?” he asked, and shit, the word fuck shouldn’t have sounded so hot coming from Suga but it did, at least to Ukai, “We’ve been seeing each other for what, two, three weeks? I just wanted to suck you off tonight,” Suga laughed, looking up at Ukai with those pretty, half lidded doe eyes that made him weak to anything, “I haven’t had a chance to touch you yet, and you touched me plenty.”

Ukai stilled his hand on Suga’s hips, caught in his decision, but Suga kissed him one more time and chose for him as he knelt on the floor, looking up at Ukai as he unzipped his pants. Ukai leaned back on the couch, an iron grip on the fabric as Suga brushed his slender fingers over his clothed erection, making him let out a low hiss of arousal, anticipation.

“How far have you gone with someone else, Suga?” he asked, not sure where his question came from. But the sight of Suga between his knees reminded him of what he’d caught him and Sawamura doing in the locker room. And it seemed that Suga could read his mind, because he smiled gently, sitting back on his heels as he took off his pants, distracting Ukai. His thighs were so milky, so smooth except for the few moles that peppered the surface. He was hard, Ukai could see that, a bulge pressing up against the front of his boxers.

“If you’re asking if I’ve fooled around with Daichi more than what you saw in the locker room, yeah. We’re best friends, he’s bi, and I’m gay, sometimes we’d get bored. Never went further than what you saw though, neither of us really wanted to. And like I said, he’s with Michimiya now so you don’t,” he paused, leaning forward again and running his fingers over the top of Ukai’s boxers, “Have to worry about anything. You’re not ‘tainting’ some innocent high school boy. I want to do this…”  His smile turned self-satisfied, eyes lustful and darker than normal as he pulled Ukai’s hard cock from his boxers, pants around his ankles.

Suga’s eyes went a little wide when he focused on Ukai’s cock, which didn’t hurt his self esteem at all. He seemed undeterred by the size though as he leaned forward and ran his tongue alongside the bottom of his cock before sealing his lips around the head, causing Ukai to curse and shudder. It’d been way too long since someone had sucked him off, and now here was Suga looking illegally angelic with a dick in his mouth. He made a sweet noise, moaning softly around Ukai’s cock as he took more of it into his mouth, making Ukai think ‘fuck, he’s not going to be able to take all of it’ except he did, his nose nestling into the coarse hairs at the base as he swallowed around it, throat convulsing. It was no wonder that Sawamura had been so eager to get Suga on his knees if he could do this.

He didn’t want to thrust into Suga’s mouth, afraid of hurting him. His hips trembled as he held back from fucking Suga’s throat as he started to pull his head back, tongue sliding over the sensitive skin. After such a start though, Suga seemed determined to tease him, licking at the head like it was one of those ice pops the team liked to eat after practice, his brown eyes looking up at Ukai through such thick, dark lashes, lashes almost like a girl’s. He was so fucking pretty; Ukai wanted to touch him so bad. His pink cheeks matched the color of his lips wrapped around the hard length, and Ukai could see the soft color spreading over his collarbone. Beautiful.

With another whimpering noise, Ukai noticed that Suga was grinding the heel of his palm against his own erection; a rush of heat flowed south when he saw the wet spot spreading over the front of his boxers. The kid leaked like a faucet just from sucking cock. Ukai threaded his fingers through Suga’s soft, silvery hair, tilting his head back as he finally lessened his restraint and fucked into his mouth. Suga shuddered in excitement as his cock hit the back of Suga’s sweet mouth, the vibrations of his moans going straight to Ukai’s core.

“Take your boxers off baby,” Ukai said, his voice much lower, more gravelly than normal from the sheer amount of lust he felt, “I want to see you touch yourself.” He couldn’t believe he’d just said that, but Suga wasted no time in pulling his boxers off, still licking at Ukai’s cock. Precum dribbled down the sides of Suga’s dick as he wrapped a slender hand around it, pumping slowly. Christ, Ukai realized, he really wanted to fuck Suga, and how could he not while staring down at the sight before him. Suga, naked between his legs, soft looking thighs spread for him while he stroked his flushed hard dick, slick and wet with liquid dripping everywhere, making the lewdest noise as Suga sped his hand, all the while enthusiastically sucking Ukai’s cock into his mouth.

He felt like a teenager again, wondering where his stamina had gone as he felt the familiar tightening in his lower abs as Suga dragged his plush lips over the head of Ukai’s cock again, moaning out, “Suga, gonna cum, you can pull off,” but, instead of pulling back Suga took Ukai to the base again, letting out a needy moan that sent Ukai over the edge. He threw his head back as he came, hips bucking up as he filled Suga’s mouth with cum. Ukai looked around for tissues, something for Suga to spit into, but instead he was treated to the sight of his cum dribbling down Suga’s reddened lips as he swallowed everything.

“Fuck,” he exhaled as Suga’s pink tongue darted out to lick up the rest, his hand still wrapped tight around his hard cock. Ukai grabbed Suga by the arm and pulled his naked body back onto his lap, replacing his slim hand with his much broader one, tilting Suga’s head to kiss him heatedly while pumping his cock hard and fast. He could still taste his own cum in Suga’s mouth, which should’ve been gross, but was instead weirdly hot to him. Suga’s moans grew higher, breathier as he began to thrust into Ukai’s fist.

“Ukai,” he gasped as Ukai started to kiss his soft, white neck again, “I’m so close, just a–ah!” He shook, arms slung around Ukai’s neck as his cock jerked, cum spurting over Ukai’s hand and stomach. They fell back onto the couch together, Suga on top of him. A million images flashed through Ukai’s mind; he wanted to watch Suga ride him right there on the couch, sweep him into his arms and take him to the bed before slowly fucking him, nice and sweet. But instead he kissed him again, reminding himself that 3 months was only...90 days. Not even that much now.

“That was,” Suga breathed, “Wow.” Ukai flicked him on the nose, watching Suga wince cutely.

“I should be saying that to you. I can’t remember the last time I saw something as sexy as you with your lips around my cock.” He looked up at the ceiling, eyes shut as he tried to process everything that was happening in his life.

“Tired already?” Suga laughed, looking up at Ukai, “It’s not even nine yet.” Ukai groaned and slumped back on the sofa with his arms wrapped around Suga’s bare torso, rubbing circles into his sides. ****

“Give me a few minutes,” he murmured, kissing Suga’s hair, noting how good it smelled, “I’m not as young as I used to be.” Suga kissed him lazily again, sliding his weight so that Ukai’s leg rested between his perfect thighs. “You just sucked my brains out through my cock; my legs are still a little weak. You’ve got a nice mouth on you,” he grinned, rubbing a thumb over Suga’s lower lip, “Good at sweet talking and sucking dick. No wonder you’ve got me wrapped around your finger.” Suga sat up and stretched, the boxers still dangling around one of his ankles. Ukai tried to keep his flush down at the sight of Suga’s naked body. New hickies already bloomed on his neck and he cursed. ****

“Shit. Better wear your collar high at school, I did a number on your neck again,” he said sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his neck. Suga touched his neck and smirked, leaning to kiss Ukai again. ****

“Someone likes marking me up. I don’t mind. But I’d better get going.” Ukai grabbed his chin again and kissed Suga once more, harder this time, as if to make him remember who got him off tonight.

When Suga broke away with another impish smile, he stood up and began to get dressed, pulling his collar over the evidence. Ukai glanced at the clock. He wanted to ask Suga to stay more but he knew it wouldn’t be easy to hold back, not when Suga’s ass was so round and firm, not when he was imagining what it’d be like to fuck him into the mattress.

“I told some friends I’d be meeting them at ten, so I ought to head out now. But I had fun,” Suga said, looking over his shoulder, “Next time though, I want to see what you look like between my legs,” he practically purred, tempting Ukai. He got off the couch, still naked and covered in Suga’s cum, leaning over Suga as he nibbled his ear softly.

“I can guarantee,” he said, “That I won’t look half as good as you did. Better figure out a way to hide marks on those pretty thighs of yours, Suga. See you later.” Suga walked up to the front door before turning around to blow a kiss, his face too cute for words.

Ukai felt himself blush, more embarrassed about that than he was to be standing naked as he watched Suga leave, thinking about how he’d be going out with friends tonight with the taste of his cum still in his mouth. He forced the image of Suga between his legs out of his head as the door shut behind him.

As he headed to take a shower, Ukai wondered if it was possible for him to have fucked up any more.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for taking so long to get this chapter up, school got in the way. But with winter break coming up, I hope to get more of this story done. And here's a little spoiler, Daichi's going to be more involved than you think ;)


	4. Chapter 4

Ukai knew he was probably growing way too comfortable with what he had with Suga. He tried hard to keep subtle, but his friends noticed his change in mood, noticed how there were dark bite marks on his neck when he forgot to cover them up. He’d wave it off with talks about going out to a bar after work and meeting a pretty girl, and they still had no clue that every Tuesday and Friday night Suga would come over and greet Ukai with a hot kiss and promises to fulfill every dirty fantasy Ukai had about him during practice and in his dreams. He’d never stay over, not wanting the neighbors to catch him sneaking out in the morning before school started, but would lay in bed with Ukai in the afterglow with that angelic smile that Ukai couldn’t help but press kisses against. He stayed Sugawara-kun at practice but in the comfort of Ukai’s little messy home, lying on the couch with their legs all tangled, the silver haired boy was his Suga. And that grew more dangerous with every visit.

He was an addict and he knew it. Ukai liked to pretend he could cut off their relationship at any time, he refused to label it as an actual relationship to begin with, but he knew deep down that he’d grown addicted to the soft smile Suga gave him at the door and the sweet sound of ‘pardon the intrusion’ before the delicious taste of Suga’s lips crushing against his own. He was addicted to the feel and sounds of Suga when they had sex, the way Suga’s eyes closed and his face scrunched up as he came with his mouth barely open, bucking his hips and moaning Ukai’s name so loud he actually did worry about his neighbors hearing.

He was addicted to the words that filled his mouth whenever Suga was around: babe, baby, sugar, cutie, all these pet names that should have been reserved for a girlfriend, not an underaged high schooler. He was addicted to all the little things that came from being alone with Suga, the sound of his laugh, his scent, the sound of his voice as he gasped out “Ukai.” They weren’t a real couple, there was no dating, he never cooked dinner for Suga and the teen didn’t seem bothered by that. But they’d been doing this, whatever it was, for over two months. Breaking it off didn’t even feel like an option.

It was clear that Suga was growing more and more comfortable with him too, which worried Ukai just as much. Suga beamed at him during practice in a way that conveyed more than just admiration for his coach, he whispered things to Ukai when he sat on the sideline and knew that Takeda wasn’t paying attention. He was a little minx and took pride in it. As far as he knew, the team didn’t suspect a thing; Sawamura and Azumane didn’t shoot them any questioning looks. He was thankful that the more colorful members of the team kept everyone’s attention, but there was always that worry in the back of his mind that this would all go away.  And he didn’t want that.

But there were times when he forgot the rules he’d set down, especially in the euphoria he felt after winning a match. That high of pride and happiness shared by the entire team, coach included, that lasted well after most of the team had left to head to a restaurant for celebration. Ukai should’ve been the first to left, but he’d seen Suga look over his shoulder before catching his eye and beckoning him into the boys locker room. And like the damned fool he was, Ukai followed him. His whole body was abuzz from the thrill of winning against such a hard team, it reminded him of high school, except that when he was in high school he didn’t follow a pretty imp of a boy into a room alone to kiss and maybe do more. 

The minute he closed the door behind him, Suga pounced, dragging Ukai into the room with a giddy look on his face. He’d played in the match, Ukai watched him and those beautiful serves, the way his eyes lit up when on the court and he’d never been more attracted to him. Sweat still dripped down Suga’s fair brow as he stripped off his jersey, tossing it to the ground as Ukai lifted him against the lockers and pressed their lips together.

“Congratulations,” Ukai grinned as Suga giggled into the kiss, the silver boy kissing his jawline cheekily as Ukai held him up, “Didn’t think you’d want to celebrate like this though, baby. Seems a little risky.”

“Couldn’t wait,” Suga gasped as Ukai rocked their hips together, “Needed you now, wanted to touch you, I saw how you were looking at me when I played. I’ve never felt better, Ukai.” Ukai grinned, a feral smile as he leaned down to kiss along Suga’s pale collarbone out of pure habit, the need to mark him up too strong. He tasted like salty sweat, the flavor of his skin still there beneath the musk.

“Never felt better? Then I’m not doing my job right,” Ukai replied, a little bit of a growl to his voice. 

Suga laughed and kissed him again, grinding against Ukai’s cock just enough to make him moan and deepen the kiss. Ukai dug his fingers into Suga’s thighs that still shook from the match, sure to leave marks that would fade before they won the next game. He felt euphoric, stupidly happy, the team was going well and he had Suga literally in his arms with those sweet lips against his own and everything–

“Hey, Suga, the team–oh my god.” 

Suga pulled away from the kiss so fast he banged his head against the locker, eyes wide with horror as he stared at Sawamura who stood in the entrance to the locker room, a look of absolute shock on his face. Everything froze to Ukai, heart pounding as he thought of all the ways he’d just royally fucked up everything forever. Sawamura was sure to tell, and that was the last thing he was able to think of before the other boy strode across the room with a murderous expression, grabbing Ukai and yanking him away from Suga, who almost fell to the floor. 

“What the _fuck_ ,” he snarled, his normally calm brown eyes alight with fury as he gripped the collar of Ukai’s shirt, “Do you think you’re doing to Suga?” No respect there, no -san, no coach, nothing respectful that he usually used, but that didn’t surprise Ukai. Sawamura balled his hands into fists, clenching and unclenching his fingers as he glared at him, seething. His eyes landed on the hickies marring Suga’s neck and hipbones, narrowing into slits. Before Ukai could get out a word, Sawamura swung his fist as Suga shouted for him to stop, blow connecting with his cheek hard enough to make him stagger back. The metallic taste of blood bloomed in his mouth as he cursed. He met Suga’s eyes, those golden-brown ones he loved looking at so much now full of anger and hurt as he marched over to Sawamura.

“Daichi!” he snapped, grabbing the other boy’s jersey and pulling him back, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Sawamura looked bewildered, as though he expected gratitude for punching Ukai. An expression full of gentle concern that made jealousy spike in his stomach overcame Sawamura’s face as he turned his attention on Suga. He placed a hand on his arm, a comforting gesture, something you do to a loved one, and it made Ukai feel numb.

“Saving you from a rapist, what the hell does it look like?” Sawamura exclaimed, moving his hand to Suga’s cheek, “Are you okay, did he do anything else to you? Shit, how did he start doing this to you, we need to call the police–” Suga tightened his grip, shaking his head as he looked up at Sawamura.

“Don’t you dare, Daichi. Ukai wasn’t doing anything I didn’t want. I...I started it. _I_ kissed him,” Suga murmured, not meeting the other boy’s gaze, “We’ve been together for over two months.” Sawamura gaped at him, eyes widening as he looked from Ukai to Suga and back again; Ukai could practically see the cogs in his head spinning as he put all the pieces together. 

“You...you and him,” he said faintly as he lowered his hand from Suga’s face, “You’ve been sleeping with our coach? Is he the reason you’ve been sneaking off and distancing yourself because for fuck’s sake, Suga, I thought you were just shy about a girlfriend, I thought that’s where you were when you said you couldn’t hang out with me and Asahi. I didn’t...I didn’t think you’d go and do something as stupid and self-destructive as this.” Suga flinched back, pulling his hand away from Sawamura as he stared at him with hurt in his eyes. Ukai wanted to say something but bit his tongue, knowing that everything Sawamura said was true. However, Suga looked like he’d just been slapped across the face.

“Daichi, please,” he started, “Ukai’s never touched me without asking. I turn eighteen in less than a month. Please...please don’t look at me like that,” he said, voice cracking. Sawamura looked stricken stepping back from Suga.

“Is this because of me and Yui?” he asked in a soft voice, the tone of disgust gone. Suga flinched away, brow furrowing in anger.

“This is why I kept my relationship from you.” Now Sawamura looked like Suga had struck him, backing away with anger and hurt written on his features.

“The team and I are heading to the restaurant to celebrate. Maybe I’ll see you later, Sugawara.”

And on that note, Daichi headed out the door, leaving Suga staring after him wide wide, teary eyes. Ukai couldn’t remember the last time the captain had called Suga by his full name. He finally reached out to Suga who shied away, pulling his jersey back on.

“Not right now, Ukai-san,” he said in a quiet, shaking voice, “I need some time to think.”

Ukai watched the number on the back of his jersey as he walked out of the room, wondering how badly he’d fucked up his life.

* * *

Ukai sat in his house much later that night, nursing at a can of beer with anxiety filling his stomach more by the second. Surely police would be knocking down his door, slamming him against the wall of his kitchen, arresting him for defiling Sugawara. He’d be the shame of the town and he’d probably die in jail if his mother didn’t get to him first. There was a sort of emptiness inside him now that he couldn’t make vanish no matter how many cans of beer he knocked back. He’d probably never see Suga again, never get a chance to apologize for fucking up his life and best friendship so badly. 

Sawamura’s words echoed in his mind though, asking Suga if he’d gone after Ukai because of him and his girlfriend. Had he been a rebound? Suga had acted so casually about Sawamura and the captain of the girl’s team, seeming nothing but happy for them, but he could still remember the look of ecstasy on Suga’s face from when he’d caught him with Sawamura months ago. Had he ever made Suga that blissful? He couldn’t remember, not after a nervewracking day and what seemed like half a case of beer. 

When a knock sounded at his door, he was sure he’d imagined it at first. It was almost ten, way too late for anyone to spontaneously come over unless...he didn’t get his hopes up, he absolutely did not as he padded over to the door, beer still in his hand. 

He opened it to see Suga standing in front of him, his handsome face serious and calmer than he expected. Ukai’s stomach lurched, wondering if police were waiting to catch him in the act. But Suga didn’t try to kiss him as a greeting. He merely looked up at Ukai with those brown eyes he’d come to love so much and asked, “May I please come in?” 

Ukai said nothing as he turned and walked back inside the house. Suga slipped off his shoes, closing the door behind him before following Ukai to the living room. It felt so strange to be alone with Suga without kissing him, or seeing him beam that angel smile. Suga stood next to the couch, turning to Ukai.

“I talked to Daichi more after dinner. He’s still not too happy that I’ve been sleeping with the coach, but he’s even more upset that I hadn’t told him anything. But he understands now I think...it was embarrassing, heh, crying like that in front of my best friend, trying to get him to realize why I’d stick my neck out for you like that. He kept telling me that I could easily get a boyfriend my age even in this small town. I’m glad I managed to convince him I didn’t go after you because I couldn’t get over him...that was just awkward.” They sat in silence, Ukai clutching the can of beer and Suga looking at the floor, seeming smaller than normal in the living room.

“So why did you?” Ukai started, coughing and taking another sip of his drink, “Go after me. I’m nothing special, this relationship was dangerous to start...Suga,” he said softly, inhibitions lowered enough from drinking to cup the boy’s pretty face in his hand, “You are amazing. Looks like I really was right about underestimating you. And you deserve better–”

“Ukai, don’t tell me what I deserve,” Suga said calmly, pulling his hand away and holding it instead, “People don’t deserve other people, you don’t have to ‘earn’ me.”

“Then you and Sawamura–”

“He’s my best friend. And for a long time I thought we’d end up together forever,” Suga said, unable to hide a note of bitterness in his voice, “Daichi is kind and handsome and smart but high school is a weird, finicky place and relationships don’t last forever when you’re seventeen.” Ukai wondered how long Suga had been in that kind of relationship with Sawamura to feel that way but thought it better to not ask.

“Did you think,” he said quietly, “That being with me would be more permanent?” Suga shook his head, brow furrowed once more.

“I don’t know...maybe that’s part of the reason. Ukai, you understand me in a different way than Daichi does. He thinks that he needs to win matches for me since I’m not a starter. But you understand that I want to win matches for myself. And you understand that, which means the world to me. But I’m not gonna lie though, I just thought you were super hot at first.” 

That made Ukai laugh, breaking the tension that hung in the air between the two of them. Suga’s face lit up once more and Ukai felt like he could breathe again. He moved a little closer, reaching up to drag his thumb against the mark Daichi’s punch had left. Ukai couldn’t help but wince.

“I’m going to university next year, Ukai. And I don’t expect you to follow me if you find something better here. But I have several months before I go and I’ll be back to visit. While I’m here I want to be with you. It’s only a few more weeks of sneaking around. Does...does that sound okay?” Suga looked nervous as hell, his eyes wide and unsure. Ukai wrapped an arm around him, pulling him in close for a hug. He buried his nose in Suga’s soft hair and breathed in that familiar scent.

“Yes,” he answered, “You’re a hard habit to break, Suga.” The anxiety in his stomach vanished as he felt Suga press a kiss against his face and giggle softly. 

“You know, Daichi told my mother that I’m sleeping over at his house tonight,” Suga whispered, rubbing his thumb over the reddened mark on Ukai’s cheek again, “He said he owed me a favor for punching you. So if you’d like….” he surged up on his tip toes, clasping his arms around Ukai’s neck with his devious grin, “I could show you how to properly make eggs tomorrow morning. I know you don’t feed yourself right.” Ukai closed his eyes, trying to will himself to say no; even if Sawamura promised his silence, the next person to find out might not be so kind. 

But Suga’s body felt warm against his own, he smelled so good and even though the temptation to do more than what they’d been doing was strong, the idea of waking up to Suga curled up against his chest, eyelashes fluttering against his beauty mark, was much too strong. He smiled back and kissed Suga, taking the boy by surprise and lifting him off the ground. Suga wrapped his legs around Ukai’s waist, grinding just enough to let Ukai know what he had in store for the night. Ukai paused while he tried to decide where they’d kiss and touch for the night and headed towards his bedroom instead of the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha sorry to end it there but if I'd added in the sex scene it wouldve been a ridiculously long chapter. I promise the wait for chapter 5 won't be as bad as for this one and I'll make sure to write in all the details~ thank you so much for all your supportive comments! viva ukaisuga!


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